Letters

Dear Mom: Thank you for the texts you send me every morning. They make me smile.

Dear Woman in the elevator: It's ok that you didn't reply to me when I told you "good morning"; I didn't really care if you had a good morning or not. Now, however, I hope your morning sucked.

Dear Girl in the front row: it's rude when you turn around and you cut into people's conversations like they don't matter. It's especially so when you are a dumb bleach-blonde.

Dear Dear Golden-Green Apple: MMM you tasted so good !!

Dear Supervisor: The one thing more annoying than stupid closed-minded people is when stupid closed-minded people speak to you as if you yourself are stupid and closed-minded.

Dear Professor: if you arent going to post lecture slides, please teach a coherent lecture, and give us more time to copy down the slides you post.

Dear Hot Girl two seats next to me: How YOU doin ???

Dear Jose Cuervo: i think we gotta stop chilling so often; you're fun and all, but i think too much of you isn't good for my liver.

Dear Kamla: Seriously, now, the election party is over. Time to start running the country properly.

Dear Landlord: Your first priority is me, your tenant, not your construction going on in the backyard. Seriously dude, its the law.

Dear Influenza: If you're gonna hit me with a bout, do it now and get it over with; dont linger on in my nose and throat like a bad habit, waiting for midterm time to act up. I mean, thats just mean.

Dear Bed, Pillows & Blanket: I'm sorry we havent spent much time together lately. I will make it up to you tonight. I promise.

Sincerely Yours,

Professor Matti