im sorry i cant be perfect

you know, usually im a jovial person; i love to joke around and i dont often take things seriously. l also love to see the lighter side of life, as this is what keeps me going when all around me is nothing but a shit show. but i think that this blog doesnt accurately represent this side of me (especially lately). i realize now one of my subconscious intentions for authoring it: the desire to vent my frustrations. in a way this blog contributes to my real-life joviality, as it allows me to blow off steam in a healthy, semi-non-confrontational way, which is the way i rather prefer it. nevertheless, i apologize to my readers for mostly blogging about things that irk me; i'll try to be more light-hearted in the future. but not today.

today, i'd really like to address something that pissed me off, and that continues to piss me off as i fearlessly trek through the unforgiving bedlam that is my life. actually, its a few things....but i need to take a minute or two to calm myself and let my boiling blood cool to a simmer before i take my laptop and smash it through a window....

(calmate mateo, calmate....gooosefrabbaaa)

ok...here goes: in case most people dont realize, im totally aware of most of my faults. im aware of the fact that im much too overweight, and that i have bad money-management skills....im aware that at times i can be insensitive and inconsiderate when i really dont mean to be...i am often much too lazy for my own good, and dont put 100% effort into my endeavours...i am very well aware that i often live in my head, in my dreams, and dont pay attention to reality...i am aware that at times i can focus too much on the prize without paying attention to the means, a fault that makes getting the prize all the more difficult...i recognize the fact that i am a perfectly imperfect human bean....

but heres a few other things people might not realize: i welcome criticism of a constructive nature...it is impossible to gain a complete picture of oneself by looking from the inside only; it is important to get the perspective of the outside world that looks at you, because it can help you discover things about yourself, dimensions that you might never be able to fathom for yourself...i greatly appreciate someone who has the gall to give me a wake up call about myself and my life...it is through these that i can truly help develop myself and grow...

but i do not appreciate people who talk about me, and judge me, without knowing much about me...and i really hate people who complain about me with others, about the things i do or dont do, without actually bringing these grievances to my attention... i very much dislike people who make it their business to isolate the faults in those around them, friends, family, schoolmates, coworkers, acquaintances..i hate i hate i hate..

heres a wake up call to those whom these shoes may fit....EVERYBODY HAS FAULTS...yes, even you, believe it or not...but what good is it to single out the faults of others? if you are genuinely trying to be helpful, then i applaud you...but please note, yapping about faults to another person without addressing the fault-bearer directly aint doin' jack shit other than making you look like whining, complainy assholes....

to you, harbingers of gossip and general discord, here's some advice...you'd be better served to look at yourselves first...dealing with people on a regular basis often requires patience, perseverance and the ability to overlook faults...alas, to those whose own faults are impatience, apathy and being judgmental, i sympathize with you, and offer you my own patience, perseverance and best-thinking as a token of peace...this is my constructive criticism to you....

but a word of caution...i read somewhere that people who tend to focus on the problems of others likely have a shitload of personal issues themselves...the fact that they overlook their own issues speaks to their general disconnect with their own lives, lives which may be plagued by pretty shitty personal situations....so beware, if in you come to find that you are one of those people who constantly yaps about the issues of other people, then chances are ur a pretty fucked up person yourself; you just cant see it....