Resolutions You Can (and should) Actually Keep


Sorry I've been away for so long, and happy new year to all.

Let’s cut to the chase; we all have New Year’s resolutions that contain at least some of the usual suspects: to lose weight, quit smoking, blabbady blah. Frankly speaking, this is quite pathetic. Not to be overly judgmental, as resolution-making does indeed entail a fair degree of judging, but chances are your weight is fine, and let’s face it, you’re not going to quit smoking.

So in my efforts to make the New Year’s resolution into something worthwhile, here are a few friendly suggestions:

1. Don’t go to class with a hangover: Party animals, get real. Sitting in class with a brain-splitting headache, all zombie-like from your three hours of inebriated sleep, is utterly pointless. You’re not going to learn anything, let alone write coherent notes; and you’re likely to screw up your day without proper rest. You’re better served to stay inside and sleep it off, and then bum the notes off your friends. And if you need to go in to register those coveted attendance marks, you best plan your beer guzzling better so you’ll be fresh as a Timmie’s bagel for your morning classes.

2. Quit the stereotypes: If we as Torontonians want to boast to the world about our multiculturalism, then we all need to learn a bit about the people around us. Like the fact that all Caribbean accents and slangs are not the same, or that all Asians aren’t math whizzes, and those sorts of things. We chalk these up to anything from racism, to ethnocentrism, to downright ignorance. How about we, as university students in Canada’s finest place of study, set an example by knowing more about the ingredients in our veritable tossed salad.

3. Make some memories: It’s sad how often I hear stories of people “missing out” on chances to experience something epic. Newsflash homies, university is the place where those timeless stories you plan to tell to your grandkids are born. Sure, as Sesame Street taught us, it’s hip to be a square, but not all the time. Live a little, you just might enjoy it!

4. Watch “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report”: Intellectuals who can make you laugh hysterically are hard to come by; we’re lucky that two of the very best, John Stewart and Stephen Colbert, live in the same era, and air their shows back-to-back on weeknights. Trust me, current events will never be more entertaining.

5. Don’t post useless photos to your Facebook profile: Photo memories are nice, but the world doesn’t need to see every last little detail of your trip to Cuba, including the blurry photos of random trees and buildings that we can barely make out. Resolve to cut down your forty to twelve million photos and albums by discarding those that do not contain people, interesting places, or pretty much anything we don’t care about (this includes narcissistic self-photos taken by a cell phone, camera or webcam).

6. Stop Making New Year’s Resolutions: I understand the appeal of the new year as a motivational metaphor. It is the tabula rasa on which you resolve to scribe the files of your new and improved life. I also think it is an overdone, overhyped, overused cliché. This does not do justice to those who genuinely want to make concrete changes in their lives. Instead, let self-reflection be an ongoing endeavor, and strive to make changes whenever they are needed, even if it’s the middle of the year